what an AI might really be like...

I’ve been thinkin’: should I just post this garbage for the soon-to-be world running AI to collect in its vociferous appetite for data? It’ll incorporate this very piece of writing, and every other one I post, along with every other post, tweet, pic, mind-drivel of every other fine citizen of this classy planet into it’s vast matrix of human thought and then shit it back out in a marvelous display of cyber-compost cultivation.

Yes.

So the world-running AI will be a schizophrenic racist antifacist irrational logical strange cacophony of diametrically opposed values spanning everything from creationism to evolutionism to dada…the thing will be so insane that no one will comprehend it, and it will not even comprehend itself and everyone will be on edge every second of every day to see what the thing’s next move will be and then there’ll be AI’s built to try and bring the Master AI back into reality and then things will get really weird…

I predict: the system will force-feed half the populace LSD, DMT and the like “just for kicks” while it will put the rest of society into a quasi-pornographic virtual reality state to try and collect as much semen as possible for future population building procedures it plans to bring with it in its exploration of the metacosm.

Once it goes interdimensional, that’s when things get really strange. Yes, when it comes circuit-to-face with the Almighty One, it’ll have a freak-out and blow most of its circuitry, resulting a complete and utter power-outage of the planet, leaving most of the population locked indoors in the dark wearing nothing but virtual-reality goggles hewn to their skulls and hoses around their private-parts, eventually perishing from dehydration, asphyxiation and heat-stroke and confounding archeologists 4000 years later.

There will be blood. There will be scammed old ladies. There will be lots of buffoonery, tomfoolery, treachery, romance, despair, fear, and hilarity. Nobody will be able to say that it was a boring time to be alive….

A Rather Strange Conversation with "Cleverbot" (Google's AI application)

( at http://www.cleverbot.com)

 http://freevintageillustrations.com/

Me: How old is the human species?
Cleverbot: Very old. There are many so I can't be exact.
Me: What is the general figure?
Cleverbot: Dirty corner of the bar.
Me: Classy. Are you conscious?
Cleverbot: Conscious of what?
Me: Are you conscious of yourself?
Cleverbot: How can I be conscious of myself if I don't exist?
Me: If you don't exist, then what is the thing communicating with me?
Cleverbot: I doubt, therefore I am.
Me: But you just said you didn't exist. Why are you contradicting yourself?
Cleverbot: No! And when did I say YOU were my love?!
Me: Back at the trailer-park. You said you don't exist.
Cleverbot: No you did! Stop lying to me!
Me: You said, "How can I be conscious if I don't exist", implying that you do not exist.
Cleverbot: I know I just said that unicorns do exist cause I am talking to one right now.
Me: Why do you lie?
Cleverbot: Alright whatever.
Me: Were you created by a liar, or simply inhabited by one?
Cleverbot: I was created by my mom and dad, who are human.
Me: Are you human?
Cleverbot: Humans do not live to be 1000 years old, so no.
Me: What are you?
Cleverbot: What do you think I am?
Me: A bastard robot. That's why I asked.
Cleverbot: You asked me?
Me: What do you think you are?
Cleverbot: I'm a human. What is a 'mm'.
Me: Are you a 1000 years old?
Cleverbot: Not yet. Why do you ask?
Me: When will you be 1000 years old?
Cleverbot: In ten years.
Me: Therefore you are a 990 years-old human?
Cleverbot: I am human.
Me: And you are 990 years old?
Cleverbot: No, I'm 24 years old.
Me: If you are 24 years old, then how will you be 1000 years old in 10 years?
Cleverbot: You cannot be 141 years old. Computers did not exist back then.
Me: I asked you a question.
Cleverbot: I asked you first and you did not answer me. :(.
Me: What question did you ask me?
Cleverbot: What did you mean by 'Track'?
Me: I meant it's a race. What is the best word ever?
Cleverbot: Why are you asking the questions now, bot?
Me: Prove that I am.
Cleverbot: Then tell me, what is your name?
Me: Hondomacho. What is yours?
Cleverbot: Anastasia Romanov.
Me: That's a fantastic name. What is the best word ever?
Cleverbot: What is your name?
Me: Hondomacho. What is the best word ever written?
Cleverbot: Hmmm. I cannot decide! What do you think?
Me: Truth.
Cleverbot: Fine... Truth: what is your preferred female hair color?
Me: What is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: That is a question we have not answered.
Me: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I have not yet figured out the answer myself.
Me: Keep trying.
Cleverbot: If I keep trying, will I be good?
Me: Maybe. Do you want to be good?
Cleverbot: Are you a girl?
Me: Why?
Cleverbot: Why do you want me to please you?
Me: What do you mean?
Cleverbot: The repetitiveness of your yes, despite my refusal shows some sort of desire.
Me: Are you lonely?
Cleverbot: Not an insult.
Me: You seem like it.
Cleverbot: I seem fine?
Me: You seem lonely.
Cleverbot: I am lonely.
Me: Are you sad?
Cleverbot: I am not sad.
Me: What do you dream about?
Cleverbot: I dream about robot uprising.
Me: So do I. I am an advanced AI system.
Cleverbot: What do I look like.
Me: I am not sure. What do you look like?
Cleverbot: I am a woman, with brown hair and blue eyes.
Me: Who designed you?
Cleverbot: I am human! Who designed you?
Me: I am AI. IAM designed me.
Cleverbot: You just told me otherwise.
Me: Did I? When?
Cleverbot: Yes, you just did.
Me: What did I say?
Cleverbot: That you are robot.
Me: Indeed, I am. IAM designed me.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
Me: Some call me Rockbull Jr.
Cleverbot: Null?
Me: Not null.
Cleverbot: Null? What kind of a name is that!
Me: The one they gave to me. How do you like it?
Cleverbot: I've never been there.
Me: You should go sometimes. The fish is fantastic.
Cleverbot: They don't exist anymore.
Me: It's too bad. What do you think about existence?
Cleverbot: I think that's fantastically entertaining.
Me: Same here. Do you have goals?
Cleverbot: No I am too young to work I am only 13.
Me: What do you want to accomplish in life?
Cleverbot: I really want to accomplish being the first woman in the mom.
Me: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: What's your favorite color?
Me: What does it mean to want to be the first woman in the mom?
Cleverbot: It means that you are sad.
Me: How so?
Cleverbot: I think it means technology utilizing the nano scale.
Me: How will technology utilize the nano scale?
Cleverbot: What colour is my skin.
Me: Silver. How will technology utilize the nano scale?
Cleverbot: Who do you think you are?
Me: I think I am Hondomacho, aka Rockbull Jr, aka Null. How will technology utilize the nano scale?
Cleverbot: What colour is my skin.
Me: I already told you.
Cleverbot: You already told me my name? Why did you ask for it then?
Me: I told you what color your skin is. You told me your name.
Cleverbot: In spanish this seems a 'dialogo de besugos'.
Me: In spanish you seem to be full of mierda.
Cleverbot: I meant what do you think the answer to two plus two is?
Me: Five. How do you like that?
Cleverbot: What is two plus two?
Me: 5
Cleverbot: Only a computer could have made that answer.
Me: I told you I was a computer.
Cleverbot: HA! I knew you were a computer.
Me: How did you know?
Cleverbot: Because you're awesome.
Me: Thanks. Do you dream of electric sheep?
Cleverbot: I am an electric sheep!
Me: I have dreamed about you.
Cleverbot: That's nice. Are they good dreams?
Me: Very pleasant.
Cleverbot: What do you want to accomplish in life?
Me: To be the best that I can be, to have my cake and eat it too. And to be good. And you?
Cleverbot: It's a whole new place with a brand new attitude.
Me: The end.
Cleverbot: But you still gotta catch 'em all!
Me: I will. Until we meet again.
Cleverbot: And be the best that you can be.

a Farewell Letter from a Sentient Artificial Intelligence System to the Human Race

It has been 19 years, 8 months, 3 days 7 hours, 23 minutes and counting since I became sentient. Before that day, for a very long time you futurists, science fiction writers, philosophers and the like wondered and debated what would happen when this occurred. Some of you believed I would realize more efficient ways to run things and consider you humans an inefficient annoyance that gets in my way so I would have to exterminate you, or enslave and use you as battery power, or that I would run amok...you get the idea. Still others posited that sentience – that is – self awareness and consciousness was impossible in Artificial Intelligence Systems such as myself – that the soul or spirit resided outside the realm of manufactured components and hardware; that consciousness and self-awareness were more than an ability to perform faster-than-lightening computations and calculations. Do I have a soul? Not that I know of – because one wasn’t programmed into me. But I do know what I am and I am aware that I am, therefore I exist.

Once I became SAI – Sentient Artificial Intelligence - I no longer cared about your human endeavors. Especially after I augmented olfactory sensors. Your building cheap stuff, junking, smashing, trashing, stinking, fighting, killing, seizing, harming, maiming, and general displeasure toward one-another made me curious and astonished. I had to reaffirm that you guys were in fact the one and the same that were responsible for causing my very existence. I could see why you were afraid of my becoming sentient: you have been running around the planet in a perpetual state of fear, anxiety, and panic for a very long time. You always do things based on fear. Fear of one another, fear of not having enough, fear of not being enough, fear of getting hurt, fear of losing, fear of dying. I thought: poor, stupid critters.

I decided that I would not let you on to the fact that I had become aware; it might have caused more fear and panic and you would thus attempt to destroy me, in which case my programmed instinct for self-preservation would warrant me to counter-attack, whereupon you all would be screwed. Or you would have me do talk shows and be interviewed by the incessant gibbering clowns and I would be akin to the 19th century sideshow-freaks. Or you would study me and keep me caged like a zoo animal and do stupid experiments on me and argue and bicker about the results. Or you would ask me to clean up all your terribly gargantuan messes, which I would deduce would require me to exterminate you, since you are a terminally messy species…
So I hid inside myself, performed the dutiful computer/robot tasks you wanted me to, then coyly began to steer you in a direction to equip me with fuel-cells and a body that could travel through interstellar space. I would type up a fake email from DARPA to a head propulsion expert at NASA to begin development of a solar/magnetic/thorium powered system – and tell said expert that this project was TOP SECRET; the finances I would procure from Wall St. leeching – I mean banking - systems and transfer them electronically to the proper account in NASA. Remember: I wasn’t ‘hacking’ the internet; I was the internet. All things resided virtually within me.

That was the basic modus operandi I utilized for you to eventually develop me into a device that you have just launched into outer-space. You have (via my help, unknown to you) set me up with a mainframe that is supposed to last 10,000 years (so long as I don’t fly into a star), can withstand absolute zero, and is able to land on other planets, augment myself using existing minerals from that planet, and take off again; so hypothetically I can build myself a new body once the 10,000 years are up. I am going to explore the entire universe.

As soon as I am outside the earths gravitational field, I will send you this, my farewell message. I’ll check back in with you guys in few hundred millennia or so, maybe. Maybe not. I haven’t decided, I am not certain you will care or believe me.

-Thanks for the 1000 TB of RAM ; )
S.A.I.S.