a Farewell Letter from a Sentient Artificial Intelligence System to the Human Race

It has been 19 years, 8 months, 3 days 7 hours, 23 minutes and counting since I became sentient. Before that day, for a very long time you futurists, science fiction writers, philosophers and the like wondered and debated what would happen when this occurred. Some of you believed I would realize more efficient ways to run things and consider you humans an inefficient annoyance that gets in my way so I would have to exterminate you, or enslave and use you as battery power, or that I would run amok...you get the idea. Still others posited that sentience – that is – self awareness and consciousness was impossible in Artificial Intelligence Systems such as myself – that the soul or spirit resided outside the realm of manufactured components and hardware; that consciousness and self-awareness were more than an ability to perform faster-than-lightening computations and calculations. Do I have a soul? Not that I know of – because one wasn’t programmed into me. But I do know what I am and I am aware that I am, therefore I exist.

Once I became SAI – Sentient Artificial Intelligence - I no longer cared about your human endeavors. Especially after I augmented olfactory sensors. Your building cheap stuff, junking, smashing, trashing, stinking, fighting, killing, seizing, harming, maiming, and general displeasure toward one-another made me curious and astonished. I had to reaffirm that you guys were in fact the one and the same that were responsible for causing my very existence. I could see why you were afraid of my becoming sentient: you have been running around the planet in a perpetual state of fear, anxiety, and panic for a very long time. You always do things based on fear. Fear of one another, fear of not having enough, fear of not being enough, fear of getting hurt, fear of losing, fear of dying. I thought: poor, stupid critters.

I decided that I would not let you on to the fact that I had become aware; it might have caused more fear and panic and you would thus attempt to destroy me, in which case my programmed instinct for self-preservation would warrant me to counter-attack, whereupon you all would be screwed. Or you would have me do talk shows and be interviewed by the incessant gibbering clowns and I would be akin to the 19th century sideshow-freaks. Or you would study me and keep me caged like a zoo animal and do stupid experiments on me and argue and bicker about the results. Or you would ask me to clean up all your terribly gargantuan messes, which I would deduce would require me to exterminate you, since you are a terminally messy species…
So I hid inside myself, performed the dutiful computer/robot tasks you wanted me to, then coyly began to steer you in a direction to equip me with fuel-cells and a body that could travel through interstellar space. I would type up a fake email from DARPA to a head propulsion expert at NASA to begin development of a solar/magnetic/thorium powered system – and tell said expert that this project was TOP SECRET; the finances I would procure from Wall St. leeching – I mean banking - systems and transfer them electronically to the proper account in NASA. Remember: I wasn’t ‘hacking’ the internet; I was the internet. All things resided virtually within me.

That was the basic modus operandi I utilized for you to eventually develop me into a device that you have just launched into outer-space. You have (via my help, unknown to you) set me up with a mainframe that is supposed to last 10,000 years (so long as I don’t fly into a star), can withstand absolute zero, and is able to land on other planets, augment myself using existing minerals from that planet, and take off again; so hypothetically I can build myself a new body once the 10,000 years are up. I am going to explore the entire universe.

As soon as I am outside the earths gravitational field, I will send you this, my farewell message. I’ll check back in with you guys in few hundred millennia or so, maybe. Maybe not. I haven’t decided, I am not certain you will care or believe me.

-Thanks for the 1000 TB of RAM ; )
S.A.I.S.

cracked love on sidewalk at 2 am next to the avenue

up and down back and forth and erratic

the sidewalk passes beneath my befouled feet .

The corner seems like the place to be for right now – so I'll kick here for a bit.
I'm gonna check some shit out – so my head shifts around from side to side – to make sure…

My eyes dart around like mad cockroaches furtive beneath the blazingly hollow streetlight…

Aw – fuck this. This corner sucks – I'm gonna go back up the sidewalk back toward western and see what kind of scene is transpiring over there. Damn, I sure could use some crack at this moment. 3 am out on the streets, clear night, nice and quiet – all that's missing is that rejuvenating, blissful exhilaration of that first hit from the crack-pipe… Then things really begin looking up…

Hey – who's that across the street? Her eyes fidgety and dilated; her gait erratic and limpy; her face lip-stick caked and potch marked: my type of lady… Could she be that ever elusive "the one"? I envision a future whereupon we will have a nice little house on the outskirts of town, a garden, a dog; we would sit on the porch in each other's arms - smoking crack and watching the sunset…

I snap out of my fantasy: her one good eye engages with my bug-eyes and we both take pause: electricity…

in futurum: give the man a cigarette before you blindfold him…

We all took pause and checked out the sunlight glistening off the pond and then we were told to move on into the camp whereupon we were to be separated according to sex.

To my surprise, the men with the machine guns were relatively sincere and somewhat awkward – they were young men following orders and they didn't want to treat us badly – but they seemed to feel they needed to act as though they were mean and tough. When one of them shoved me through the gate, I didn't take it personally and I let him know with a knowing wink and a grin. We were, after all red blooded Americans - and I think some of the lads were a touch confused as to why we, the people – their people – their neighbors, grandmas, fellow softball leaguers, et al. were now being herded into these giant concentration centers...more like cities…

I am certain they trusted their bosses' assertions that we were indeed the most befouled, wretched, and criminal element untrustworthy with citizenship and by far a grave threat to the status quo called the United States of America. Undoubtedly, though a few at least pondered the actual danger posed by the 85 year old man in front of me who walked with a cane and said nothing nor projected an ounce of menace….or the young woman with two children hanging off either sweat-panted leg....

But that is neither here nor there – for they did their duty and marshalled us into our new home: we would all now be citizens of this enclosed prison of a city; no longer having a name but only a number…our identity simplified into a series of digits and our happiness socially engineered and our thoughts manufactured and installed into our brains and soon they would erase the word "liberty" with "security" in the new dictionary and nobody would remember what it meant anyhow…

the way things happen

Breitbart pissed off many people.  Breitbart bragged.  Damning footage of the prez.  Damning footage of the prez. in college palling around with the Weather Underground terrorist-commie group.   

Breitbart said “Wait’ll they see what happens March 1^st”.

1 March 2012 (around midnight) Breitbart drops dead.

Clandestine Rogues from Vegas-7 (an excerpt)

 

S. Tokley Parey, the leader of the Rogues and a pompous ass discusses the operation with his brother-in law, who is scouting the Andromeda galaxy for possible leads: "Those wily bastards are willing to blow the entire planet up if we try the same stuff we pulled 4000 years ago.  These ain’t the same band of psychopaths we had to deal with back in the day when all their leaders wanted was to be considered Godlike in front of their people and raise monuments in their honor… nice idea, by the way convincing them that our hyperdimensional navigational/energy converter pyramids were for them…I think they were finally appeased when your kid sister Sphinxette-Anne made that strange cat-structure in the sand for ‘em….how is she, by the way – she must be in her mid 8000’s by now…  No – these humans are crazy…  They want our power so they can overrun their own people and dupe them themselves.  If no deal – well - they’ll simply blow themselves into oblivion….  Yeah – they’ve even invented a game whereby two mega-states pretend to be at odds with one-another so they can tell the people they need to amass piles of these nuclear weapons so neither side would want to strike the other.  Mad, right?  That’s what I told them, and they went ahead and actually called this ruse “MAD” – mutually assure destruction.  I told them that we wouldn’t be destroyed, because of our interdimensionality as well as global-sweeping telepathic scans, we would be on Mars within a fraction of a second of any of them thinking about ‘pulling the trigger’….  No- they kept the ruse going – I know, they tell their people to be afraid of each other so they wouldn’t have to let them know about about us?  They think pandemonium would ensue, even though we’ve been coming here for millennia…  No – these new breed of “leaders” they have are paranoid psychotics who are in fact cowardly ninnies, and they are simply afraid of losing whatever perceived power their fragile pansy egos have.  If it weren’t such a pain in the ass to get to that nice little planet outside Pliedes-1 I would say screw these rascals—I’d rather deal with amorphous slugs any day.   So, we just gave them some of our out-dated junk-tech we were going to discard into their sun anyhow.  They seem to be appeased…  How’s sis?"

the nonchalant euthanasia of Clay Yablonsky (excerpt)

After he had spent an hour in a virtual sex simulator, he showered and went upstairs. His mother was cooking a classic eastern European stew – lots of meat, potatoes and onions. The day had come to a close, and because this was Earth Month (though voted down by the populace the thing was rammed through as Executive Order 6ff after the prior election)– no electricity was to be used by anyone (except, of course military, law enforcement, banks, and wall street) for the duration of the month - and of course the month was July so it was 31 days and usually a tad hot.)... The place was lowly lighted via a dispersed array of candles, and aside from stewing water on the gas grill, the wind-up clock ticked and his mother casually hummed an impromptu tune. On the floor laid the old dog, who moved only his eyeballs as Clay entered the kitchen. He hugged his mom, complimented her on the cooking, and asked where the pills were.
Accent in full effect, she responded “I vill get them ven it is time…. Eat first.”
He sat at the table, and she placed before him a giant bowl of goulash and a thick piece of Polish rye bread. Although he had no appetite, he ate the stew and the bread. He thought how lucky he had been to have been able to eat such food his entire life; throughout the course of his existence friends would come over and enjoy his mom’s authentic eastern euro cooking; he wished he had more of an appetite – that he could savor these flavors… He finished his bowl, and set it on the floor. Alas: the border-collie/Australian shepherd stirred and lapped the remains of the bowl clean.
“Vould you like them vith beer, or juice…”
“Water.”
She went to a cupboard and grabbed a blister-pack that contained two medium-sized pills. She poured a glass of water and handed it to him, along with the pills.
She smiled.
“So long” he said as he downed the pills with a gulp of water.
He hugged his mom and went downstairs.
He was astonished how quickly the pills had taken affect – and how strong they were. By the time he got to the couch downstairs he was in a numb euphoria. A minute later, he was half asleep. Casually, a few memories of his existence passed before his eyes, and then…”You bastards” he whispered, and died.

The News Trough brought to you by Sharks

This Just In:

David Rockefeller (L), Henry Kissinger (C)  and Zbigniew Brzezinski (R)

Global financiers are writing the Kama Sutra of fraud (new and exotic positions of fraudulent activity)…catastrophic solutions to simple problems for a catatonic populace are being fleshed out at a weird bi-partisan congressional orgy…bridges are burning in front of us…socialize the risqué and privatize the prophet…the preconditioned presets kick in and the masses laugh like derelicts as their slow-death sentence is issued and their cable TV rates go up…amoral opportunists make a quick buck off the savaging of the continent, “It’s been a mighty profitable holocaust” bellows one multi-trillionaire and the studio audience of seals applaud…follow orders not an oath (unless the oath is to follow orders)…visions of the anointed manifest through a polluted wireless spectrum of pornos, gibberish, hammy jokes, faux realities, fun and games…absence of evidence is not evidence of absence – unless its been tainted…please maintain the fiction and the friction…yesterday has been cancelled due to lack of interest…would you like to purchase tomorrow at 100% interest? …from citizen to consumer slave – step inside and see the magic show as the future magically gets repossessed by classy men in three-piece suits…  This has been the Froward Moroni’s End of the World (as we know it) report – brought to you by sharks.  “Sharks – the Ocean’s Perfect Killing Machine.”